Well, on the first of May I was determined that this would be a good start, and everything would get sorted...

I have my first proper exam (not counting synoptics and plans) 2 weeks...yesterday I guess. I haven't revised for any of them. And to be honest, I'm not very focused on college right now.

I keep chanting 2 weeks, 1 day in my head (well now it'll be 2 weeks) because that's when I get to leave what has become the most dreaded place in my life. If it were up to me, I'd be moving up to St. Andrews now, not in September. I can't wait to get away from this place.

All my 'friends' seem to have deserted me, but thankfully I've been blessed with a select few that have stuck by me no matter what. I owe them everything and I love them to bits.

I have tried the whole 'forgive and forget' thing and it just hasn't worked, especially when the person in question has managed to degrade and humiliate me time and time again. So I've given up trying to be the nice person all the time. I'll try to be a good friend but throw it back in my face and I won't try again. I'm not going to be a doormat any more. But they have been erased from everything in my life so, good riddance.

I haven't been writing much lately, as I've been really busy, but once I've left college I'll have lots of free time on my hands and I'll be doing a lot of writing (nothing better to do I guess) so...watch this space

Rachel xx